Falling to Her
Keywords: to, Falling, Her,
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"This story is the third of the series featuring Elsie and Connor. If you haven't read the first two, then they are available here and here. Although they're in different categories, they're all really romance. Hope you enjoy.
This is dedicated to Elsie Grey. She should know why by now."
* * *
Elsie waved the box at him, unable to get her brain around what was happening. "Connor, this is an engagement ring."
"Yes, I know." Connor dropped to one knee. "I'd hoped to do this over dinner, and preferably with a few more clothes on, but it really doesn't matter where we are, or what's going on. I love you more than I have words to say. You make every day something special to look forward to and you make every night something that I'll remember forever. I can't imagine doing anything without you and I really don't want to. Elsie, will you marry me?"
Elsie stared at the ring, her thoughts in complete turmoil. Her world had turned upside down in just a few short seconds and all of her certainties had dissolved in an instant. She stared into Connor's eyes. "I…"
The second pause seemed to stretch into an eternity as Elsie stared, dumbfounded, at the ring that she held in her hand. This didn't seem possible; she'd dreamed about Connor proposing so many times and imagined the multitude of ways that he would ask her. Yet not a single one of her scenarios had ever contained her next words.
"I don't know."
Connor looked down for a second. "You don't know?"
"I… I don't know."
The doorbell rang again and Elsie was suddenly aware that whilst an age had passed between her and Connor, the pizza delivery had been waiting outside for a couple of minutes. Her gaze flitted towards the door.
"Oh forget the bloody pizza!" Connor barked, making Elsie jump. She turned back to see him looking at her with barely contained tears in his eyes. "What don't you know about?"
Elsie shivered, suddenly cold. Tears were building behind her eyes and yet she couldn't stop looking at the expression on Connor's face. Pain and confusion were radiating from his eyes and Elsie could feel every one of his emotions breaking her heart. She wanted to say yes just to make him stop looking at her like that.
Instead she said, "I just… I need to think." The tears overflowed and her voice crumbled into a high-pitched whisper. "I'm sorry."
Connor stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her. Elsie sank into the hug, resting her head on his naked chest and wept.
* * *
"You said you didn't know?" Anna leant across the coffee shop's table and stared incredulously at her friend.
Elsie shrank slightly from the ferocious gaze. "Well, I didn't. I still don't."
The coffee shop was located just off the city centre and lunchtime shoppers buzzed all around the cast iron tables outside, weaving their way from one shop to the next, like bees searching for nectar. Elsie watched them for a second, her eyes squinting in the brilliant sunshine as she thought of the last time she had been in town and of the 'specialist' items that she'd bought that day. She still couldn't work out how her thoughts had become so complicated since then.
Anna sat back in her chair with a resigned sigh. "You do realise that you're crazy, right?"
"What? It wasn't like I said no."
"You might as well have done." Anna flicked open her lighter with a practised motion and lit a new cigarette. "To you, it sounded like 'I need to think'. I'll bet you any money that to your average bloke that sounds like 'Not a chance in hell'."
Elsie pouted. "I'm supposed to take advice on what blokes are thinking from a lesbian?"
"A lesbian who's been around the dating block a lot more than you."
"You realise that you can't act the expert just cause you're blissfully settled down with your new girlfriend, don't you?"
Anna took a long drag and stared at her friend again. "Look, lesbian or not, it's still my professional opinion that you're crazy. You're crazier than my family and you know that's top-quality lunacy. Connor's sweet, thoughtful and he loves the hell out of you. Plus he writes those kinky stories."
"I told you – you're not supposed to know about thos…"
"I know, I know, you didn't tell me, I wasn't there, you can't prove a thing. Don't worry, I'm not gonna tell." Anna flashed a mischievous grin at Elsie. "No dodging the point. He's got all that going for him and I know for a fact that you love him. And yet your answer to 'Spend the rest of your life with me' is 'I'll get back to you'?"
Elsie shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "It's not quite that simple."
"What's difficult? You've got a guy who I'd consider changing sides for if I was single and you've just crushed him to pieces with the heel of your shoe."
"It's not like that. Connor understood that I needed time to think. I'm sure he's okay with it." Elsie looked imploringly at Anna. "Don't you think he'll be okay with it? I mean, he knows I'm probably going to say yes anyway."
"If you're gonna say yes anyway, why didn't you say yes straight away?"
Elsie bit her lip and her gaze dropped to her cup of tea. "I don't know." She put her head into her hands and groaned, trying to sort through her thoughts. "When he asked me, I just… I wanted to say yes, I really did. It just wouldn't come out. I just kept thinking…"
"What?" Anna asked softly.
"We're… we're in a really good space right now. Everything's perfect and I… I don't want that to change."
"Why would it change?"
"Cause… marriage changes things. It's about moving forward and changing your life and I don't… I don't want things to change from where they are."
Anna raised an eyebrow and sat back in her chair. Elsie looked at her sharply. "What was that look?"
"That look? That one I keep specially for when people talk bollocks at me. You've never been skittish about marriage. In fact, you're the biggest fan of marriage I've ever met. In fact, earlier in this conversation you were asking me whether I'd thought about proposing to Gemma." Anna took a long drag of her cigarette and smiled at her friend. "What's the real reason?"
"That is the real reason!" Elsie exclaimed indignantly. "There's a big difference between being boyfriend-girlfriend and being husband and wife. Things change." She sighed and pulled an unruly lock of hair back behind her ear. "I guess I'm worried that maybe the fire will go away."
Anna's smile broadened. "You know what I think?"
"Generally your voice gives full commentary of your thoughts."
"I think that you're overthinking this whole idea. You love him right? And he loves you?"
"Uh-huh," Elsie offered, taking a sip of her drink.
"Then what's gonna change when you get married? Changing your name isn't gonna change how you guys feel about each other, and getting married is not going to make all the amazing sex go away."
Elsie choked on her tea.
"Come on, am I stupid?" Anna sat back in her chair, her lips curved in a satisfied smirk. "That's what you mean by fire, isn't it? Trust me El, the chemistry between you two can be seen a mile away. There's no way in hell that any ceremony will ever get in the way of that."
Elsie tried to suck in air past her scalded larynx. "So what do I do?"
Anna laughed. "Go over there and give him the right answer, of course. What else?"
* * *
*Messenger: Conversation - Elsie66 (elsie66maple), The Knackered Connor (connor217.hsfc)*
"*Elsie66 says:* Heya sweetie.
*Elsie66 says:* Sweetie?
*Elsie66 says:* You there?
*Elsie66 says:* Helloooo?
*The Knackered Connor says:* I'm here.
*Elsie66 says:* areyou okay?
*The Knackered Connor says:* Yeah Im just feeling a bit illl.
*The Knackered Connor says:* See screenname
*Elsie66 says:* Awww sweetie. Do you want me to come over and play nurse?
*The Knackered Connor says:* Its nothing serious. Didn't get enough sleep last night.
*Elsie66 says:* Oh.
*Elsie66 says:* What did you do?
*The Knackered Connor says:* Had some of the guys over last night for drinkingand debauchery.
*Elsie66 says:* You sure you don't want me to come over and look after you?
*The Knackered Connor says:* Yeah, I'm fine. I thnk I'm just gonna have an early night.
*The Knackered Connor says:* Night
*Elsie66 says:* Night sweetie xxx.
*Your message "Night sweetie xxx" could not be delivered as it appears that 'The Very Unwell Connor' has gone offline *
"
* * *
Connor jerked awake with a start. For a second, he wasn't sure where he was, or what was happening. Then his eyes began to focus on the world around him and his senses started to come back. He'd fallen asleep on the sofa and now every muscle in his body was aching.
With an effort, he hauled himself upright, blinking at his watch as he tried to force his brain to work. It felt like he'd woken up in the middle of the night, but his watch insisted the time was 08:29. He must've come in and just crashed out where he'd landed.
He stretched, flexing in a motion that cracked every joint and released the heat that'd stored up there. Blood flowed back into pinned muscles and he yawned, feeling a little bit of his normal energy seeping back into his body. He wasn't quite ready to face the world yet, but he was working up to it.
The apartment was a tangled mess, as per usual, with half-finished projects stacked up along the walls. Connor managed to make a living from the eclectic collection of things he turned his hand to, from painting, sculpting and writing, to electrical engineering. He'd lucked into selling some of his paintings immediately after an undistinguished art degree and the money was enough to let him earn a living from his hobbies. It certainly gave him a certain satisfaction on a Monday morning like this one to know that he was his own boss and that he could choose whether or not to work.
This would be a day without work, he decided, as he manoeuvred his stiff body towards the bathroom. There was no way he could concentrate on anything but Elsie today.
His girlfriend kept his attention throughout his shower, although for different reasons than he'd like.
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Keywords: to, Falling, Her,